Florida isn’t happening and, oddly, I’m not upset.
Instead, I simply see this as a sign: it’s time to let go.
If things were meant to be between codename Lucy and myself, they would have been. Something would have happened by now that would bring some “ah ha!” moment when I’d go “damn, I cannot live without him.”
Instead, every time we discuss seeing each other, whether in Jacksonville or Florida while he’s there on business or New Mexico where he lives, something happens. Work, life, me being stubborn and not agreeing to a plane ticket, tickets are too much.. always something.
But as I told him tonight, there will be no sad faces. Instead, we should just take it as a sign and move the hell on.
While I’ll be the first to say that I tend to glimpse in the past, when it comes to him the past is all it’ll ever be. There’s too much more I want, too much more I want to do, none of which is in New Mexico.
So, blog friends, perhaps this will be the last time you hear about codename Lucy. Perhaps this time we will actually look forward and not look back at what was a wonderful time we spent together with a terrible ending and many tears, screams and curses.
Perhaps my troublesome friend from Saturday night will remember we have dinner plans tomorrow and I’ll go on my first actual honest to goodness DATE in months if not years. Perhaps my vacationing friend will actually have his court date in April and come home. Hell, who knows, maybe I’ll meet someone new. But, let’s be serious, that would involve going out. haha. And I surely don’t do that often.
